"Rather than fighting for every woman's right to feel beautiful, I would like to see the return of a kind of feminism that tells women and girls that maybe it's all right not to be pretty and perfectly well-behaved. That maybe women who are plain, or large, or old, or differently abled, or who simply don't give a damn what they look like because they're too busy saving the world or rearranging their sock drawer, have as much right to take up space as anyone else.
I think if we want to take care of the next generation of girls we should reassure them that power, strength, and character are more important than beauty and always will be, and that even if they aren't thin and pretty, they are still worthy of respect. That feeling is the birthright of men everywhere." -Laurie Penny
I, like many men and women, have had body image issues. It wasn't until I became pregnant that I really started to work on changing this. And it was hard work, some of the hardest I have ever done. When Branden and I found out that we were having a little girl, I made up my mind that the best thing I could do for her would be to learn to like who I am.
I have succeeded in this, and I have never been more powerful than I am now.
I look back at how and when my issues with myself began. I was about thirteen years old. At this incredibly critical time, a few young women's leaders made a few comments to me about themselves, and about being "skinny." If the women who I looked up to the most felt that this was important, and if they occasionally didn't eat in order to achieve this, maybe I shouldn't either. In the place where I should have felt the most reassured of being beautiful because of who I was, I ended up first feeling insecure.
When we teach girls about beauty in imperfection, beauty within themselves, do we believe it for ourselves? If not, nothing we say will ever matter.
The area of Utah Valley has more breast implants done than any other region in America. And to be perfectly frank, this ticks me off. In a church preaching that our bodies are sacred, what right do we have to change ours in order to "look better" for other people? It sometimes feels that fat, skinny, big, small, waists, jeans, curves, everything bodies and beautiful becomes a conversation piece even at Relief Society activities--more than anything, women talking about dissatisfaction with themselves.
Girls pick up on this. I certainly did. Healthy matters, and this has nothing to do with size. Character matters, and this has nothing to do with beauty.
There is nothing more awe-inspiring to me than a man or woman unapologetically accepting who they are. Eleven months ago, I decided that no matter the cost to appreciate and love myself, I would achieve this--partly for myself but mostly for the people in my life who will look at me and mimic what I do. I want to give people permission to confidence, not a vain or unimportant expectation to something so shallow and superficial.
I do not like to be around people who focus on weight and appearance, theirs or mine. I have lost friends because of it. I hate talk of "fat" or "skinny" or "beautiful" or "ugly--" I hated it while I was pregnant, and I hate it even more now. My kids and the youth who I am around will never hear this from me, about myself, about anyone.
I just gave birth, and my body is incredible. But more importantly, I can think for myself and listen well to people. I play the piano and write, and I cry for my friends and my family because I love them deeply. I am kind, and good, and smart, and funny.
This is what people will remember about me, this is what matters, and this is what makes me powerful.