I always thought getting "A's" in school was a good thing. Right? Right? NEWS FLASH TO THE WORLD: wrong. You think "A's" are good, I know you think "A's" are good, and mostly they are, to be fair. But apparently having all "A's" is equal to being a type-A, compulsive, uptight, no-fun, moomoo-wearing, salad-eating, to-do-list-writing stickler.
There I sat, oblivious to this, blissful in my ignorance, in my Introduction to Social Work class two days ago. I've decided in the last year to attend graduate school for Social Work. When people ask me if I know anything about social work, I mostly scoff and say Please. I have excellent grades. I don't have to know anything about it to get into any program, like a real type-A, salad-eating stickler. Still, I decided to take a bunch of classes all about Social Work, and I love it. I am finally committed, finally sure of my future career.
That is, until my professor announced to the class that they love 3.75 GPA students. Those are their favorites. They don't like below a 3.0, but they also don't like above a 3.9, and I quote: Students having above a 3.9 really tells us board members about their compulsiveness. You have to be able to go with the flow for this profession. No, we don't like the 4.0 applicants.
I looked up from my pinterest board with shock. But a second was not wasted, no sir, because I immediately began scheming how to drop my GPA before graduation in December. I AM SO MUCH FUN, I WILL SHOW YOU. I had but an hour left in class to decide on how, down to the very last assignment not turned in, I would get a "B."
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| Me being FUN |
First, I had to decide on a class. I simply could not get a "B" in my Social Work class. That would be worse than a 4.0, because then all the board members would think I was a prude who just sucked at Social Work. (How do you even suck at Social Work?) But then I also couldn't get a "B" in my last few English classes, because I have always wanted to graduate college with a 4.0 in my major. The only option I was left with was to get a "B" in my Social Media class. Yes, the class where we study Instagram and Twitter. With this decision made, I moved into how I would do this.
You get a "B" by not turning in assignments, right? Wrong. You get a "B" by not turning in a very calculated number of assignments, and getting a very calculated okay grade on your tests. You study hard, you know all of the answers, and then you purposefully put a certain amount of answers wrong. Yes, I was onto something. But then again, what if I dip a little too low. I simply will not accept a "C" in a class about Facebook. My mind spun with the fear of a "C." I would never get into graduate school with a "C" in a class about how to look good on the web.
Finally, I decided on a course of action. I would get an "A," even a high one. Maybe a 98 or 99%. From there, I would approach my teacher and explain the situation, asking him, even begging him to give me a "B" in my Social Media class, thus lowering my GPA and giving me an "in" to grad school without wrecking my English GPA. I'm sure he would understand why I needed a "B." Right?
Wrong. He would think I was the weirdest, most type-A, compulsive, uptight, no-fun, moomoo-wearing, salad-eating, to-do-list-writing prude he ever met, and he would give me an "A" just to spite me and ruin my chances at a successful career.
I am now quite at a loss. I made all of my co-workers tell me I'm actually quite a fun person, and then I went back to doing homework.
